Being a Superwoman
I was listening to Rabbi Shmuley on the radio this morning. He was talking about women who try to be perfect (i.e. the “Superwoman”). His essential advice was to “stop trying to be perfect”. I took this very much to heart, especially considering my recent blog on That One Perfect Mommy. In that blog, I offered no advice on how we can or should handle our feelings of inadequacy when we are faced with mommies who seem “perfect” or like “supermoms”. In the hopes of filling that void in my blog, I would like to share Rabbi Shmuley’s advice with you:
According to Rabbi Shmuley, many women strive for an unrealistic ideal of perfection…but in her quest to become the perfect mother, the perfect wife and the perfect everything, today’s superwoman can wind up becoming stressed out and dissatisfied instead. Rabbi Shmuley shares his thoughts on how to set reasonable expectations and embrace yourself—flaws and all.
- Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to have the perfect body. “You’re beautiful,” Rabbi Shmuley says.
- Stop trying to be the perfect mom. “You’re going to screw up your kids just a little bit, hopefully not too much,” he says. “It’s going to happen because we’re all human. We’re not perfect.”
- Accept that your marriage isn’t going to be perfect. “There are going to be hills and valleys,” Rabbi Shmuley says.
- Expect that you’re going to have financial challenges in life.
- Learn to love your age. You’re going to get older. “Stop obsessing over birthdays,” Rabbi Shmuley says.
- Know that you’re going to get frustrated and tired. “You’re going to sometimes feel like your life isn’t what you want it to be…it’s called existential angst. It’s natural; it’s normal,” he says.
Today’s Shmuleyism
“Wonder Woman was a fictional character on TV. Were she real, she’d still be boring as molasses, as most perfect people are. Perfection means you never have to show character, you never have to fight for what’s right, you never have to struggle. That all comes so naturally, and it therefore involves no exertion. [It's] much better to embrace your flawed humanity and therefore strive to be your best, and therefore become better every day.”
For more information about Rabbi Shmuley and this specific radio topic, see Stop Trying to Be Perfect.
Have a happy non-perfection day, mommies!
-Sophia
Midwest Mom responds:
Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 2:04 pm →
This is a great lesson, but honestly, I never really connected with WonderWoman or SuperGirl. Elastigirl is my superhero of choice. But even she needed a team. I don’t know where I would be without my team.
-MM
Erin responds:
Posted: August 16th, 2008 at 1:56 pm →
This must be the subject of the day! I just wrote something on mine a few days ago about the same thing! Sometimes I think Superwoman is really just an urban legend bent on driving women mad. Please feel free to stop by my little bit of the world and say hello!
Erin
momsupdate responds:
Posted: August 25th, 2008 at 1:04 am →
Very very useful advice - we forget at times to be imperfect. At work, we all try to be the best worker, and when we come home, we strive to cook the best meal and give the kids the best time and ensure they also do their best in school. food for thought indeed!