Wipeout - July 15, 2008
ABC’s Wipeout started out this week with Bryan “Spaz” Sayas. He was wearing a purple sweatsuit and John Henson couldn’t help but crack “purple dinosaur” jokes. 
Bryan almost made it across the Sucker Punch wall…which was pretty impressive. But, then he fell at the last minute. So, it didn’t count. Sorry Spaz.
Then there was Jessica Trevitchick who was an older lady with an apparent princess fetish. She was actually wearing a tiara? Huh?
I am very proud to say that the first person to make it across the Sucker Punch wall was A MOMMY! Woot! Gwenisha “Soccer Mom” Robinson skated her way across that wall taking punches left and right but never falling. Moms rock!!!
I had higher hopes for disc jokey, TeeMaree. She seemed like a very cool chick…but she gave John Henson plenty of joke material, including the following comment as she fell off the Sucker Punch wall into the mud: That was a “short distance dedication from the wall to Teemaree’s face”.
Kieth Biondi had an interesting look but surprised us by making it into the Top 12. He’s an older dude with long hair and a large, graying beard. He had on a headband and said he’s in the Fresno Philharmonic. Go Keith! I loved this guy. He was totally different from the expected contestants on this show…and he kicked butt! John Henson once again had plenty of fodder for his comedy including giving him the nickname Keith “Muddy Beard” Biondi after Keith emerged from the mud with his face and beard literally soaked in mud. John said his beard was like a “human sponge” and he “just came up short by the hair on his chinny”. 
Finally, there was Saye Yabandeh. This girl had some scary energy. She kept shouting things like, “I wanna win!!!” When she fell in the water and was swimming she said, “This water tastes good!” Okay, that’s just disgusting, Saye. She also pointed out the she was the only one left with “balls” when they were on The Sweeper by screaming out, “I’ve got two balls.” But, then she threw her balls and fell. To give her the appropriate props, she did make it into the final round. John Henson started calling her “Warrior” Saye. She was definitely one tough lady.
Top 12 Contestants:
- Robert “Silver Fox” Schweitzer
- Cheryl Kazel
- Rado Pagac
- Grace Matias
- Kat Nagrete
- Keith “Muddy Beard” Biondi
- Marc “Fitness Fanatic” Natividad
- “Warrior” Saye Yabandeh
- Gabriel “Mama’s Boy” Lawrence
- Gwenisha “Soccer Mom” Robinson
- Philip Ventimiglia
- Taylor Johnson
Robert “Silver Fox” Schweitzer was an interesting older man with silver hair. During The Dreadmill “Flipper Flop” the contestants had to put on swimming flippers and run on the treadmill jumping over pool inflatables. When asked if he likes inflatable animals, Robert replied, “I like ‘em!” with a little too much enthusiasm. After the event, when asked how it went, he said, “It’s really hard to run in those flippers but, uh, I still enjoyed the toys.” Okay Robert, a word of advice: Don’t admit to liking inflatable toys with such excitement on national television. Although, it did give us a good laugh. And you did have an impressive run in the finals.
Marc “Fitness Fanatic” Natividad had a beautiful body. But, other than that, I can’t think of anything interesting to share.
The following four made it to the final round:
- Robert “Silver Fox” Schweitzer - who had a run time of 11 minutes, 35 seconds.
- Gabriel “Mama’s Boy” Lawrence - who fell off The Spinner 3 times and was eliminated because he surpassed Robert’s time. Sorry Mama.
But, he does love you. - Marc “Fitness Fanatic” Natividad - who completed the course in 8 minutes, 23 seconds.
- “Warrior” Saye Yabandeh - who ran out of time and was eliminated because she surpassed Marc’s time.
So Marc “Fitness Fanatic” & “Beautiful Bod” Natividad won the game.
With that, “Good night and big balls!”
-Sophia
Last week’s Wipeout
