Wipeout - July 8, 2008
ABC’s Wipeout started out very funny and original but has gotten a bit stale and expected. Despite that fact, I enjoyed a few of the things that came out of this week’s episode.
The Donut Run looked fun and intimidating. Of course, the first plus-sized woman on the course, Nancy Stanley was accused of “eying the donuts”. Just wrong. Nancy just wanted to represent the big girls.
Neil Smith, from the “LB” shared with us the fact that he considers himself to be “ridiculously good looking” as he pulled his shirt up to show off his abs. I’ve seen better, Neil. Get over yourself.
Joey Mennella told the world that he was on the show to win the money because he owes “Fat Nick and his little brother Fat Nick some money”. Scary Joey. Might not want to share everything on national television quite so openly.
20-year-old Ariel Tweto, my favorite contestant of the night, shared with everyone the fact that she grew up in a small town in Alaska and she has “never had a boyfriend…[and] never been kissed”. She kicked some serious ass by being the first contestant to maneuver the BIG BALLS successfully!!! Go Ariel, go Ariel, go Ariel! But, then she ruined it by standing on top of the ramp just above a very large pole standing directly in front of her and asking, “Where’s the pole?” Uh…Ariel…hopefully someday you’ll learn just where the pole really is…and I’m not talking about the one up North.
Jennifer Tapiero was a foul-mouthed, belly dancer from New Jersey. I enjoyed the part where she flipped the camera the bird after climbing out of the mud next to the Sucker Punch.
The top twelve contestants:
- Jarran Joshu
- Kyle “The Ninja” Adler
- Mike Pyszczynski
- Jennifer Tapiero
- Ariel Tweto
- Nick “Nuch Now” Louis
- Vanessa Berghorn
- Neil “Rediculously Good Looking” Smith
- Dena Depompa
- Will Aideau
- Chris Lekawa
- Dalmar Montgomery
When the Sweeper started, it was clear that they had changed things up in an attempt to make it harder. Apparently strapping them into sacks wasn’t hard enough. The Sweeper twirled around like a huge toothbrush, blue bristles knocking contestants off their platforms quickly…but not so quickly that some of them couldn’t do some impressive back-flips into the water. Huh?
The Dizzy Dummy is one of the funniest runs…or should I say “weaves”. The contestants hit the ground after spinning for multiple minutes and, as John Hensen put it, would “walk straighter when they’re drunk”. Jarren threw up (all over Ariel…who took it like a champ) and quit.
The final four:
- Ariel Tweto
- Neil “Ridiculously Good Looking” Smith
- Nick “Nuch Now” Louis
- Kyle “The Ninja” Adler
Ariel started the competition off with a slow, but relentless 15 minutes, 53 seconds.
Neil “Ridiculously Good Looking” Smith failed to beat Ariel…which I thought was hilarious.
Nick “Nuch Now” had been moving too quickly and speaking too quickly (thus the nickname) for his own good all night. This worked to his disadvantage in the final run because he kept falling. His final time was 9 minutes, 33 minutes.
It was Kyle “The Ninja” Adler who impressed everyone with a time of 3 minutes, 23 seconds. As John Hensen put it, “You could hear the inner ninja there.”
Until next time, “Good Night and Big Balls.”
-Sophia
